Archive for the ‘art’ Category
ME/CFS Project
So it has been a while since I’ve posted. We’ve all had that year with covid. I’ve continued to make new Identity Tapestries (for shows that are now postponed) and a few light paintings, but other new art has stalled… until last night.
I had an idea for a piece which has been slowly percolating its way through my brain for a while now and suddenly gained shape. I have been struggling with how to talk about ME/CFS (a condition that has caused me to be in a wheelchair for the past 4 years) in my artwork.
What has struck me is the power of the social media posts of fellow ME/CFS sufferers as a window into our lives. I have decided to create a work using these (anonymous and always with permission) together in one piece, possibly also with photo images. The text will be embroidered onto hand dyed fabric panels in various shades of blue. The photos if I decide to use them would be rendered into blue dye on fabric using photo-reactive dye. This will make the images a little less recognizable as specific people, but hopefully the sense of exhaustion they feel and their humanity will come across. If the images don’t work the way I want, I will stick to the text.
I think the anonymous raw, un-edited social media posts of severe ME/CFS suffers would provide a very specific, candid window into our lives. So many of us only show our best selves in public (if we have the luxury of being able to leave our beds) and even our friends and family don’t see how we suffer. The raw posts- with all the typos and things intact also show our mental state as it is.
ME/CFS is a terribly debilitating condition affecting a CDC estimated 2.5 million (likely more now since covid and “long covid”). Many experts think the parts of long covid that are not direct physical scarring or results of blood clots are actual cases of ME/CFS. It can happen after any viral infection. I got it four years ago as a result of a different virus and now need a reclining wheelchair to leave the home. Those who have the most mild cases can still work and walk, they just feel exhausted or flu-like all the time. Those who suffer most among us need stomach tubes, catheters, and total sensory deprivation (dark rooms, noise canceling headphones, etc.) so as not to overload our senses. I was pretty severe, but now am moderately severe thanks to careful pacing and many medications and supplements. Where I used to only be able to sit upright for 15 min, I can now do it for up to 2 hours, which allowed me to paint and sew again.
I want to tell our stories. I want to make this pain visible to people through my art, and I think I found the right way to do it.
If you have ME/CFS and you have a social media post you would like me to include you can alert me at contact@marymarch.com Ditto a headshot of a moment that really shows you struggling. Otherwise I will be finding them myself and asking permission.
If and when I ever sell this piece any profits above materials costs will go to Solve ME.
Studio in the Time of Covid
Moroccan Desert from Mary March on Vimeo.
Creatives with materials have a bit of an edge in this isolation situation- while we may miss some things we bring our own world with us. Also, my CFS/ME disability has taught me to appreciate the little things like my life depends on it, and this has served me well in these strange times. In a way I am treasuring this time of focus.
While my house/studio is under construction (delayed now of course) I have been using the garage in our temporary house, not to mention exploding my Identity Tapestry yarn and other things around the house as usual. I’m lucky the space works for me. I am also profoundly lucky in my husband and kiddo. We’ve all done very well together the past six weeks, despite being under the strictest possible isolation since I’m immune compromised.
I’ve been busy delving into the new series of encaustic paintings using dynamically programmed LEDs in collaboration with programmer Mark Kreigsman. The first piece was “Beneath these waves lies light”. The second in the series (shown) is based on the Moroccan desert, and ones based on light through leaves and the northern lights are in in the final stage of programming. Thankfully I got materials for another six after that before the stores closed down.
These are especially interesting and challenging. Rather than just the surface of the paint, or even light bouncing through layers of paint, now I have to get each stroke right from the base upwards. The light coming through the piece shows every mark. Also, different pigments filter light different ways, perhaps reflecting yellow but filtering orange, so in low light it looks orange and in bright light yellow. I have scraped off and repainted the last three two/three times each as I work through the unique properties of each set of pigments and work for just the right texture. Another step is finding the correct colors of light to program by their RGB numbers and seeing how they play through the paint, trying and tweaking, shifting combinations. I paint in different lighting conditions over the first pass of basic light programming I can do myself, while tuning both the paint and light colors. Then I work with Mark to get much more sophisticated layers of motion and mapping correct for the feel and goal of the painting.
These are incredibly engaging and fascinating for me despite their seeming simplicity and I haven’t seen anyone else do anything like them. One thing though, they are very tricky to faithfully photograph or video and look significantly better in person.
In the meantime we’ve been locked down like everyone. I was working on a new Identity Tapestry installation as well until that show got postponed. I do what I can with the remaining energy I have to make masks which the lovely folks at Dames Do Care (ladies on motorcycles) deliver to places that need them. Now with the 3D printer free of Identity Tapestry stuff I can put the it to use on other PPE, which is gratifying. We use our skills to do what we can in these strange and disturbing times.
Shows everywhere are understandably being canceled and postponed. My upcoming installation at the Palo Alto Art Center is being postponed for a new show at a later date, with the June show canceled. Another event out of state with an installation piece has been canceled, and there were two larger profile shows that were meant to be in China this fall, but are also likely to be canceled or postponed. I absolutely don’t begrudge this and want people to stay safe and healthy. I just hope our wonderful art institutions weather this storm with all the support we can give them.
I’ve lost my dear friend and collaborator
taken by John Adams at my wedding in 2007
Today I am reeling from a terrible loss. My friend and collaborator, Dan Garcia was one of those lost on the Conception diving boat this labor day weekend. He and his partner Yulia were among my nearest and dearest friends for the past twenty years.
Since this is my art blog I will tell you especially about Dan, my most frequent and closest collaborator. Dan documented and helped with so much of my work over the years. He was incredible to brainstorm anything with, but his specialties were photography and tech. In particular he collaborated with me on Cultural Fabric Breathes Still and Access by working with me to design the tech aspects, and building the code and hardware to make the artworks happen. There are other people I have collaborated on tech with, but he and I made fireworks when we worked.
He was himself a talented photographer and light sculpture artist- making the movement and shifting of LED lighting look more organic and natural than anything I’ve seen. He created an open source LED lighting platform (FAST LED) that anyone can use- from Disney and Cirque du Soleil , Artists, Burning Man projects, to everyday hobbyists.
He was so passionate about art, especially interactive art. So passionate about supporting art and making it happen. He worked on various Burning Man projects including Syzygryd, which was an interactive sound, light and fire piece he did with Ardent Artists (formerly Interpretive Arson and Ardent Heavy Industries). He was just that person always looking to see how he could help, and his enthusiasm and smile were infectious. For his professional career, he was a masterful programmer and code ninja, and he worked with my husband, following him to two different companies so they could work together. The two of them were also a fantastic team.
For the last two years he was recovering from the loss of another dear friend, and had only just been starting to do art again beginning with Access a few months ago. Last weekend I was over for dinner and he showed me the first art piece he had made on his own since her death. He told me working with me helped him break through to making art again. It’s hard to imagine never working together again.
It’s hard to believe he’s gone. He and Yulia were the sort of people who touch and light up so many lives, who welcomed and supported such a large community. We are all absolutely shattered by this.
Another reminder to appreciate the people you love, not put off brilliant ideas for building things together for some future date, and to make time for those extra moments with them.
Syzygryd (taken by me in 2010)
Installing at MOT (Museum of Contemporary Art, Tokyo)
The unsung heroes of the art world include museum installation staff. They are often accomplished artists in their own right, and with large projects like these, they are indispensable. MOT‘s team was fantastic. We had a few hiccups (one of which was that humidity in Japan caused my print to wrinkle), but they are saving the day and making my work look its best.
I cannot tell you how great it is to have such careful, dedicated, clever folks to entrust my work to.
Throughout everything the exhibition curator Kasumi and another curator, Uta (who is assisting me with translation and helping me personally) have been amazing in helping me create my vision in their space. The museum space itself is amazing. I only wish I’d had more lead time to do even more (especially with all that vertical space!!!) I can’t wait to see everything after participation!
On a more personal note, one of the many new medications for CFS/ME that I am using is helping tremendously with my energy levels and recovery rates. This meant I was able to do this install so much more easily and made this trip so much better.
Knee Deep in Rainbows
I’ve been busy.
- Finished correct size (not yet glued down)
- Internals for the Access card reader box
Access is nearly ready for action, thanks to the programing and hardware design of my friend and collaborator Daniel Garcia and the help of my three lovely studio assistants who have been sanding away at the 60+ boxes I printed on the 3D printer.
Access will have its first run of interaction at Intel’s conference in Portland, Oregon this May, where I will also be presenting a talk on intersections and empathy.
The piece involves a series of statements about Access with “Yes” and “No” buttons with card readers to log responses. The statements cover all kinds of access based on education, physicality, finances, background, race, gender, age, sexual orientation, culture, social elements, etc. Like Identity Tapestry, specific statements are selected and phrased to focus on the _intersections_ so that one statement may cover different kinds of people’s specific access challenges.
Each visitor will have an access card (image below) to use in including their own access story into the piece. I made these softer and more tactile with an eye to giving them the approachability, uniqueness and comfort people find in my yarn to set against the more impersonal electronic devices. The color of the card will determine the color shown in the data visualizations for the piece. They go from statement to statement, scan their card, and then select “Yes” or “No” for each of the sixty statements.
In this first iteration, the data visualizations will be on large monitors on either side of the piece, but future iterations will likely use project mapping or combinations of screens and projection mapping. I have the advantage of knowing the specific group for this particular piece in advance and knowing everyone should have no trouble accessing the piece. In future more public interactions though, the goal is to make the piece accessible to participants who do not speak English, or who are blind or wheelchair bound. The fonts were already selected based on being better for those with dyslexia.
In the meantime I am working on a very special (and HUGE) version of Identity Tapestry which will include maps for the Museum of Contemporary Art, Tokyo (MOT). The show (Wandering, Mapping) will open on August 4th and run until October 20th, 2019. The piece will also feature a companion wall of responses on local, Tokyo paper I have hand-dyed alongside the yarn.
My studio helpers have been my hands through much of the dyeing process, and all of the measuring and winding and they’ve been wonderful. I am looking forward to seeing everything up and installed!
Transitions- continuing my art through illness
The corner of my empty studio
Since becoming sick with ME/CFS, I have had a lot to contend with and it has changed my practice. I have limited energy, and I have to spend it wisely. I have only minutes at a time of standing, walking, holding my head upright, etc. before I need to take a rest. Then again, my practice changed a great deal when I became pregnant, and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to my art (I did the first Identity Tapestry while pregnant and it brought me into Installation). The main effect is that I have to pace myself, and think through everything many times before I make the effort of _making_. I suspect it will generate more thoughtful new work. I also have new reserves of patience, and new understanding to feed my empathy.
Right before I got sick I had come to an inflection point in my work where I knew I would have to start hiring assistants to complete large projects, but I was dragging my feet. For those not familiar with how art at a certain scale of production goes, this is pretty normal and has a long history reaching back to the studios of the famous Renaissance painters and before. Even without being sick, I needed to accept that I now needed assistants.
For the three shows I did in the first year of my illness, I relied on the help of an awesome network of friends and my husband (who even learned how to dye wool!) to help me do my work. They were my hands. They got me through the installations at the Contemporary Jewish Museum, The San Jose Museum of Quilts and Textiles and at the Marjory Barrack Museum. Initially it was hard to conceive of hiring strangers to come into my home in the vulnerable state I was in, given that I had already resisted it before. I wasn’t ready then.
At the same time I became sick, we realized we had to do major repairs to the foundation of our house, and it became a huge remodel complete with moving out. After I did the museum shows that year, I buckled down to the task of packing and purging the house… again with the help of my amazing friends. My outside studio space was unreachable for me (and not wheelchair accessible even if I had the energy to work after driving there and parking) and essentially became expensive storage while I hoped I got better. I turned down some shows and applied to nothing while I used all my energy to move house.
Today I am a little better overall. The house is moved into a temporary space, and I finally let go of my studio of 14 years. The new studio and shop space I will have in our house will be an absolute dream though, and I can’t wait. In the meantime, I have use of our temporary garage and have set up the studio there, complete with a chair that supports my neck and torso so I can sit up longer.
Now that I have the moving hurdle done, I am back to exciting new projects! This spring I will be doing a new participatory installation that I have been thinking about since 2014 and am super excited about: Access. There is also another installation in another country coming up in the summer which I can’t wait to do. Details will follow when everything is confirmed, dried and dusted.
In the meantime, it’s time to take the leap and hire some assistants. Whatever my condition, my work will continue.
Identity Tapestry at the Marjorie Barrick Museum
I am pleased to announce that The Marjorie Barrick Museum in Las Vegas has commissioned Identity Tapestry #12 as part of a community initiative in Healing Through Art in the wake of the shooting there. It will be on display in the West Gallery from February 2 – May 12, 2018. From there it becomes part of the permanent collection.
I will also be speaking in an artist panel on “Art with Social Purpose” hosted by Nevada Humanities on May 4th, 7PM at The Writers Block in downtown Las Vegas.
I have been happy to prove to myself, with this third installation in a museum since I became so ill with CFS/ME that I am now in a specialized wheelchair outside the house, that I can still work productively as an artist. This has been thanks to the support of friends, family and assistants.
Almost ten years ago now my process and my work went through a serious change with pregnancy and the birth of my daughter. There were “limitations” that made me use different materials and ways of working, and they prompted the shift to Particaptory Installation. That work has lifted my art and my career as an artist.
This is another shift, and it is already teaching me a lot that I can put into my work and practice. I fully expect it will continue to lift my work.
Natural Dyeing for Sukkah Project
I’ve been invited to inhabit the Sukkah at the Contemporary Jewish Museum (San Francisco) on October 8th for one day of the holiday of Sukkot. They invited six artists to each take a day to create an open studio or installation project inside the frame of the Sukkah. I decided to take the opportunity to do a new Participatory Installation piece within that frame entitled Refuge of Leaves.
Process
These are photos of the dyeing process for this new project. These are the first three batches, using pomegranate dye, rhubarb dye and artichoke dye. Each dye changes depending on if I scour the paper first, or if I add a mordant, or if I add iron. I did every combination on four kinds of paper to get a wider variety.
As I’m going, I allow the paper to show some marks- wrinkles, the mark of the iron, irregularities, etc. Showing their history, that they have been through something, a difficult process that may even damage them seemed like a perfect parallel to individuals seeking refuge, to people who had a story to tell.
About the Piece
Traditionally a Sukkah is a symbolic ritual space of refuge in the wilderness created for the holiday of Sukkot in the Jewish faith and tradition. “Refuge of Leaves” creates a Sukkah as a space for reflection where people from many backgrounds can reflect on and share their personal experiences of refuge from “wildernesses”, whether physical or metaphorical. As a Sukkah it symbolizes a liminal space of safety within the wilderness between worlds.
I followed traditional aspects of the Sukkah in using natural plant-based materials in the form of a variety of papers from different places and times, including papyrus as well as paper that could be put through a modern printer. These are for participants to write responses to their choice of prompts on the subject of refuge. I am hand-dyeing the papers with natural dyes to mimic the color range of plants one might build a traditional sukkah from. The dyeing processes also makes each piece of paper individual in color and texture, just like the people writing their responses.
The word “leaves” in the title functions in a number of ways. The individual leaves of paper in a larger book, the plant leaves that form a traditional Sukkah, and the nature of a this kind of refuge as a temporary shelter (not a home) that eventually requires one to leave. The structure is very literally a refuge made of leaves that each participant leaves behind.
As part of this project I will be there from 10AM until 4PM to discuss my work and facilitate the process. Please join me.
in-process on “Between the Lines (Experience Exchange)”
These are the first set of “pages” for participants in Between the Lines (Experience Exchange) to write on. The materials are translucent acrylics on vellum with bookbinding thread sewn into the tops to tie them into the structure.
The piece was commissioned by the College of the Redwoods for their annual Book of the Year celebration. This year’s book is Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates.
The structure of the piece is a large sculpture created a s a physical framing of some of the book’s core concepts (I saw them, but also based on interviews with the author, reviews, and discussions with other people). The questions also derive from the book, and will ask participants to respond with their own related experiences.
Bubbles, narratives, identity, and empathy.
My work is often involved with narrative. I am interested in how we describe ourselves and each other, and especially in challenging those definitions. I like to lead people into a space and thought process where they encounter things in themselves and other people they don’t expect, or where something puts them in a position to realize that something they had defined, perhaps without even thinking, is not actually so simple. It never is.
I love liminal space. It is that space between things- ideas, places, definitions, roles… We usually think of it as transformative space, the way a journey is often transformative, or a ritual space like college (where you go apart from your normal life with the express intention of growing and changing). It is uncertain space. Undefined space. It can be scary, and many people don’t want to go there. They want things understood, defined and nailed down. …but it is where we must to go to grow, because growth by definition is not nailed down, and never the same. There are some people though, who like to live there, and we often make art, and we often make people uncomfortable because we cannot be nailed down.
In the past few days I have encountered a barrage of voices talking about a set of related ideas dear to my heart which I have held for as long as I can remember, most especially the danger of staying within our own boundaries- staying within our own circle of understanding, and the importance of stepping outside of it to achieve empathy and new perspectives. The first was a moment of Barack Obama’s farewell speech about how fortified we are in our bubbles and how we cannot be if we want society to function together as a whole. It made me think about a favorite TED talk by author Elif Safak, but searching for that, I found another TED talk I had not yet heard by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. It held overlapping messages. One in common was the way writers who are not straight white males (and I will add artists, filmmakers, musicians, playwrights, dancers…) are pigeonholed into telling a story about an identity the world already thinks it has nailed down- a flat identity. “Tell us the story of the Subjugated Middle Eastern Woman” (because as a Middle Eastern Woman, that will be “authentic” for you). “Tell us the story of the poor starving African” (ditto). If you try to tell a story that doesn’t mirror the narrow box you are believed to occupy, then it must be “inauthentic”, precisely because we only hear single, flat narratives about what is perceived as a “group”. Today on the radio I heard an interview with an artist I have long admired the work of, but never heard interviewed (Yinka Shonibare). In a flight of serendipity, he was talking about the exact same thing. I suggest listening to all of them. Each is eloquent in their own way and addresses different perspectives on the issues.
In recent years I feel like one of the casualties of the very important struggle to honor the different experiences of different people (especially marginalized people whose many stories are not told or are not heard enough if they are) is that we have divided ourselves into smaller and smaller groups and categories which do not communicate. There is an idea that people outside each group can never understand… and a chilling subtext that we shouldn’t even try because it isn’t possible. In such a climate saying one might even begin to understand is seen as dishonoring and invalidating the experience of the other person instead of an act of empathy. In addition from being discouraged from these kinds of engagements of empathy is the idea that we cannot comment, we cannot respond… which means we cannot communicate about these ideas. I know this is a correction swing from the voices in power’s “comments” and “responses” actually being about silencing, distorting, talking down, and even taking from these stories without the credit where it is due. We cannot let that false dialogue stand, but if we go so far that we cannot genuinely communicate across boundaries in both directions and allow each other to imagine what it is to be on the other side, then we are on the path to widen those divisions and build higher fortifications.
In an absolute way, no one will perfectly understand another person’s experiences in exactly the same way as that they do. No one has the exact same life experiences and identity. When you cut the experiences and definitions fine enough, you end up with a “group” of one. No one has your experience. But we do have common human experiences. We do have feelings in common, and more importantly, we have imagination. That is the currency of the arts. When an author writes from the perspective of someone of a different age, gender, nationality than herself, or even creates characters unlike herself, she is engaging in an act of empathy and imagination. When she does this she is creating a bridge for others to follow that empathy, to imagine themselves as that person, to step into their skin, to find common ground. This is as close as we get, and it brings us closer together. If we look at the plethora of social psychology studies on the subject, it also makes us more likely to help and not harm people the more we understand them and realize what we share in common. This is essential work. It does not steal experience, it multiples it.
Right now I am creating a Participatory Installation in response to the book of another author Ta-Nehisi Coates (Between the World and Me) at a college to try to help students connect to the book and to each other. Like other work of mine it will invite the students to share their own experiences within the frame of the piece. In this case the frame of the piece is taken from my interpretation of the book’s major themes and stories. I almost turned this commission down a number of times. I have lost sleep over it. You see, I am a white woman, and in this cultural climate I am not supposed to engage these topics because they are outside of my bubble. More fairly, artists of color are underrepresented and should be sought out first. Knowing this, I asked if they hadn’t considered asking an artist of color first (they looked, but didn’t find the kind of work that I do, which is what they were excited about), or having the author come speak (they did, he’s too expensive for their budget, though I am glad to say they are having someone from the local NAACP speak). They came to the conclusion that what they needed wasn’t an artist who matched the demographic of the author, but an artist who specialized in getting people to connect and understand each other, who worked with narrative and identity, whoever that artist was. They came to me because of seeing Identity Tapestry, which does all of these things. I took the commission in the end because I don’t know someone who fits the demographic box of the author and does the work kind of work they want, and more importantly, I don’t believe in boxes. I believe in bridges. My art is all about making them, and I like to think that makes me someone who can answer this call. The project is about responding to this book and getting the students to connect with it.
Response must be open to everyone. The attempt to understand, to empathize, to connect and to imagine must be open to everyone. It must be or we cannot break these barriers. We can’t have a separate set of rules and dialogue for art and expression for “white people” and other set for “people of color”. One set for “men”, and another for “women”, for “queer” and “straight” and on and on, cut more and more finely… Who is to say what each “group” is and who fits there? We need dialogue that passes through the boundaries and boxes and bubbles and definitions to our shared human experiences, our empathy, and our imagination. That is where we grow and learn. That is the crazy liminal in-between space. That is where hope for connection and understanding is.
From the Studio 